Girl in Bionic Suit 2007

Concert at VCH - "A French Affair"

2007-12-21T03:23:00.000+08:00

Sunday evening, I attended a concert at VCH. It was my first band / symphony concert in a very long while. The last time I was at the grand old concert hall (probably a decade ago), I was a performer. But on Sunday, I was simply contented to be a member of the audience.

Just being there was like going back in time. As I climbed the stairs to the hall, it was as if a forgotten chest of memories and emotions was uncovered... and everything came back in a rush: the adrenalin rush of performing live, the love and passion we had for music, the warmth and closeness among us. I could hardly contain myself. Soon I was pointing and saying things like, "that would lead to the backstage", "do you know, I was a solo performer right there!", "we received flowers, lots of them".

The concert was divine. Every player was outstanding but I especially adored the oboeist. His playing was simply, flawless. I remembered Keith, the young handsome oboeist, and how much WH, who just started learning to play the same instrument, admired him. We would even accompany her to sneak into SYO practices just to watch him play from afar. I wondered if he knew…

I truly enjoyed the short Sunday concert, and I would really love to go for more. Who knows, after more than a few, I might even pick up my instrument again.

Dear God

2007-11-05T02:51:00.000+08:00

... Thank you. And you know what it is for, more than all other things which I am already grateful for.

Love, me.

Aging ungracefully

2007-08-01T00:28:00.000+08:00

Thanks for your well wishes. I have recovered from my mysterious little bout of on-off illness. Even then, I am now much unhealthier than before.

I have not exercised actively for more than a year and it is finally taking a toll on me. I am 20-something years old going on to 80-something years old. My feet hurt when I walk too much and I become breathless from going up short flights of stairs. My back aches and I am growing a tummy quickly; at least one person had cheerfully congratulated me on my "pregnancy".

I have been resolving to put on my Asics again but the flesh is weak. I am tired from work, and lazy to change and hit the treadmill, or put on my skates for that short spin around the blocks. I promise someday I will do so, hopefully soon.

Not a weather entry

2007-07-24T13:06:00.000+08:00

I just made a quick run to my GP. He drew a syringe of blood from my forearm and told me that the results of the blood test would be out by this evening.

I did not expect myself to return for the test. I am not feeling too ill anymore, though I am not feeling very well either. My appetite does not return after my on-off fever tapered off. Then I look around me, and wonder why everyone and everything look so grey and cheerless. Do they seem this way because of how I am feeling inside?

Last night I cried myself to sleep. It was silly of course, and at least I drifted off to sleep quickly. The night before, I was beat but sleep simply eluded me. I drank; I tossed and turned; I laid quite still and stared up at the ceiling from my bed until tiny dots of noise swam in my vision. Finally I got up, picked out a book from the shelf, and read until I felt asleep. It lasted 3 hours. When I woke up, the sky was still dark. And there in the dark, I sat on my bed, until it was way past time to go to work.

The only long entry you are going to read in a while.

2007-07-22T03:58:00.000+08:00

I feel sorry that I have not been writing at all. Truth is, I am currently quite bankrupt intellectually and find it difficult to write at random. I was not very rich in this aspect before, but I am doing poorer than an elementary school kid now. Work takes up most of my waking hours. And if I happen to fall asleep doing my numbers or reports, chances are, my sleeping hours are not spared from it either. So reading anything non work-related to broaden my perspectives is a luxury I am too tired and lazy to explore.

These past days I was feeling pretty out of sorts. A temperature finally hit me on Friday. At 6-plus that morning, I texted my Team Leader informing her that I was down for the day. By noon I was told that she actually went to ask the colleagues whom I had dinner with the previous evening, what we ate/did that caused me to be out of office that day. They said, that was not very nice of her. I just shrugged.

For a good part of the day I worked from home. It was difficult to work without the systems but I had some help from the office, and most things went smoothly. It was a fairly profitable day and I was pleased as punch.

I finally went to see my GP in the evening. He was concerned that my symptoms were similar to that of dengue fever, something which is all the rage right now. So he prescribed some pretty strong medication for me. If I am not well by Monday I am supposed to return for a blood test.

Till then I am going to take a good rest, before the next hectic week cruises along. And if I feel well enough I might just pick up that book which I have wanted to read for a long time.

2.

2007-07-14T01:25:00.000+08:00

Black Friday. Indeed.

1.

2007-07-13T00:27:00.000+08:00

She earned her first card. It was a Titanium.

Boston

2007-07-01T00:56:00.000+08:00

She said, I think I'll go to Boston.
I think I'll start a new life.
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name.
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather.
I think I'll get a lover and fly 'em out to Spain.
I think I'll go to Boston.
I think that I'm just tired.
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind.
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of sunset.
I hear it's nice in the summer, some snow would be nice.

Not ignorant enough

2007-06-11T01:10:00.000+08:00

The first payout of the year was announced. She had done exceedingly well and she should be exultant.

But she wasn't.

Something was bothering. She wanted to, but could not talk to anyone who could advise her. So it became a burden, and like a growing tumor it invaded her living and breathing space. Had it only been a week? It seemed so much longer.

2007-04-28T17:44:00.000+08:00

Get up (get up)
Come on (come on)
Why're you scared? (I'm not scared)
You'll never change
What's been and gone

Commendable report card

2007-04-14T22:29:00.000+08:00

It's rare but it happens. I had the best work week that I've had since... hell, since almost forever. It was the most profitable one yet, although the monetary rewards went directly to the monkeys and its handlers, and the big circus bosses.

Still, I was moderately proud of my achievements in a short span of time. M said it was coz I was baptised by fire. I was always glad for that; it was then when I learnt the quickest, grew the fastest. One mile down, a hundred thousand more to go to get to where I want to be.

2007-04-11T23:42:00.000+08:00

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in

Almost but not yet

2007-04-07T13:35:00.000+08:00

Work is a bitch. I was lucky to be able to rein it under control until.

It was near midnight and the huge office was nothing but stuffy like a century old barn house. The air con was always switched off promptly before the sun set. After extended weeks of late working nights, I was dreadfully tired and just wanted to go back home. But at the last possible minute my cab driver stood me up, and there was no way for me to get another. An hour passed, then another, and then everyone left and I was alone in the office. It was suddenly too much for me and I almost broke down in accumulated frustration.

They say that when you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. The circus monkeys around here are the ones who are paid like royalty. The ones who get fed peanuts are the ones pitching tents in the office night after night to farm the gold to add to the monkeys' reserves. Work life isn't fair anywhere and I am not about to quit just because. But times like this, I wonder why I am still here.

Confirming the culprit

2007-03-22T00:47:00.000+08:00

Because my stomach always quiver & groan even long after I put down those empty glasses.

But I still love it anyways.

Exhausted

2007-03-13T00:36:00.000+08:00

Too many late work nights.

*

And one too many juvenile couple in the extended circle.

I don't miss him anymore

2007-03-03T21:35:00.000+08:00

Every Yuan Xiao Jie, I would remember a dear friend whom I (used to) love.

Sometimes it's hard to believe it's that long ago, when we were happy and careless and nothing much actually mattered. Then all of us left and time stood still for a long while. I didn't know when it started ticking again but it did. And then I don't miss him anymore.

When we caught a glimpse of each other a few months ago, he looked exactly like he was when I first knew him.

Except that now we are just but two strangers going on our different ways.

It's only February but..

2007-02-05T01:19:00.000+08:00

Life nowadays is like being on a treadmill. It's constant running with no destination or end in sight. I can't rest, I can't stop. Sometimes I wonder why I am doing this but such self doubt rarely lasts more than a few seconds; fatigue takes over from there pretty fast. Everyday I look forward to the weekend. At the end of the weekend I would look forward to the next. And at the end of four weeks there is the paycheck. And it makes everything a little more bearable.

Bring it on, 2007

2007-01-02T04:04:00.000+08:00

This extraordinarily long holiday weekend, I slept, ate, bought lots of stuff, ate and then slept some more. I am happy to declare that I have repaid most of my sleep debt but am jinxed by my last entry of '06 when I grow too plump for most of my clothes again. Oh wells.

I haven't been this excited about a new year for a long time. Since I was 13, every new year's eve would see me scrambling to complete as much of the mountains of holiday homework as humanly possible. I did not look forward to each new year because before I rested enough (from all the "mandatory, school-organized holiday activities"), it was back to hitting the ground running again. If you did not keep pace, you would almost never catch up. It was tiring and so when the new years came, I didn't get too fussed about them.

But this new year, it's different. There are exciting changes where they matter, and a huge potential to achieve phenomenal results. Over the long weekend, I have time to rest and charge, so I am ready to run again. When the challenges come, I will be more than ready to face them.

3, 2, 1... 0 !

2007-01-01T05:55:00.000+08:00

Happy You Year !

If fengshui is as accurate as it is believed to be, I shall be looking forward to a better '07 soon (after the CNY of course).

I can hardly wait.